I am dying slowly inside.... there are only 5 people who keep me going......

hmm

I am a little down today... I wish I had a friend --- but for me to trust anyone is the most difficult thing in the world. If I share my feelings or let myself be vulnerable... I just get hurt, screwed and used..... Its hard to be friends with people who don't understand.... Alone... all alone

forever

well quite a few months since I did this... I guess i didn't see the point... still don't. No one cares or pays attention anyway.
I am lonely... sad... I wish I had REAL people in my life... but my trust issues are soooo big that I can't do that. I feel like there is no one around... I have 'virtual friends' but there is no one here. I don't know what to do. I guess it doesn't matter.
I can't even deal with my psychiatrist... he doesn't care. All he had is a prescription pad... I can get that from any doctor.
I have my family but they are grown and have their own things.... I just don't know what my purpose is anymore...if I ever had one.
I give .... there is nothing for me. I just don't know what else to do anymore... not that anyone cares. I guess I should just keep doing what I do best... cry.