Bo

This morning I woke up and Bo was having trouble. He has seizures and I figured he had one in the night. He couldn't walk and I had to carry him outside.
I sat with him for an hour and a half- came in the house- steve woke up and went out and Bo had tried to drag himself outside.... He was in full stroke mode... I carried him to his bed and he stroked out. I tried to give him mouth to nose while steve pumped his chest. But we couldn't save him and he died in our arms.
It is so devastating.... we thought he would live forever. He was just 2 months shy of his 15 th birthday. He was a great pet and we loved and spoiled him as much as possible. We have buried him next to his 'sister' Bear....
Love and miss you Beauregard.... all my love mom

long time

It has been awhile since I blogged... mostly because I couldn't remember my passwords... I can feel my mind slipping away more and more. Confusion and being disoriented are the rule not the exception.
Someone told me very recently that I can't keep pushing people away..... But if I don't push them first I am the one who ends up hurt. I have had enough of that and don't want any part of other people dictating how & what I am.
I am going to lose all the weight I have gained by being down and out. I am ready for some serious changes... get out of this town, protect myself first, and try to figure out who I have become. I am hoping some changes will help me figure out how to live with what I am instead of fighting and struggling to be what I can no longer be.