working on it

Well I have been working on this all morning... and I get up at 3:45! But I am trying to get the hang of it... I finally figured out how to get the blogs I want to follow on the page.... go me.

I got my hair chopped yesterday... I tried to let it grow but I cannot be without funky hair.... it is just not me.

Well may the sun shine down on all of you today and may my medications work for me!

didn't know

Well I didn't know but I am learning.... I figured out how to put the blogs I am going to follow on my blog page... that was a hell of a trick.

I didn't even know Cori had a blog.... but now I do. Good times.

Not much to do today- Got sick of trying to grow my hair out and cut it all off again.

I am too old not to have funky hair styles.... its just not me to have longish hair... I need to spike and gel and stuff... its way more fun that way!

I hope the sun shines on every one today and that my meds work for me!

Baby news

Well it looks like Ashleys little man wants out and is sick of being all cramped in her tiny little body.
She had to go to the hospital last night where they shot her full of steroids to try and develop his lungs a little bit and gave her some other meds to try and stop the contractions.... its too early for the anxious little guy to come out.
They did send her home and she is still confined to bed.
On a personal note ---
I am working on clearing my mind and soul. I need to come to terms with the fact that I will always have to pay or be punished for the fact that I have the mental issues that I have and nothing is going to change that and there is no point in fighting against it any more. I will learn to accept my circumstances as they are... I have no choice. I am tired of being hurt and hurting. What does that accomplish????

what the hell

Well I decided to contact the ACLU and let them know that I thought it was a bunch of shit that someone with a mental disorder couldn't get justice in this day and age. I of course expect no response or help but there are somethings that you just have to get off your chest or they eat you alive.
I don't expect anyone to understand.... I get alot of 'forget it' and 'let it go'.
I didn't choose this and I would gladly throw it in the garbage if I could. No one should have this. I know there are others stronger then I am and can shake things off... proud of them... and jealous of them too. Kudos to the strong and worthy.

OF COURSE!

Well yesterday was my meeting with the lawyer and of course there is nothing he can do.... why.... because I have PTSD. Punished yet again for something that someone else caused... yea not everyone would have ended up with the mental disorder but still being punished for wrong doing that I did not cause. It must be nice to get away with shit....I wonder how those people feel- or if they feel at all?
Maybe with anyluck little princess penny will trip me going down the stairs and I will break my neck.

We had a great dinner for Cori's birthday. Even Ash came even though she is on bed rest.... but we got her to sit in the recliner with her feet up most of the time.

Mom and dad came and we ate lots of lasagna and banana splits. I had a bit too much to drink in the afternoon (it was a rough day) and was a little passed out when steve got home from work- but he got me up and things went off without a hitch and he wasn't mad. God he is good to me.... I hope Cori had a good 22nd... even though she is OLD :) Love to my girlies....

UH_OH

ashley just called and she has been put on bed rest... she is starting to dialate... that is not good. I am so worried about my little one. It is a little too early for our little guy to come out yet....

today

Well today is my little Cori Annie's 22nd birthday... What the hell?? I am really sure that I am not that old! Right??? My little sissy wants lasagna and banana splits for her birthday. Of course she is going to get it!
Today is call the lawyer day.... keeping my fingers crossed that good things happen... but we all know that good things rarely happen to me. Thats not being pessemistic... that is being a realist!
Now its time to get my fat ass on the treadmill cuz I am determined not to have a fat ass like some people I recently saw at a recent event. I didn't even know they made jeans with butts so big. Mean ---- hell yeah!

another day

So I got an email from a lawyer and I am going to call him monday for my consult to see if I have a case.... we will see what the news is then.
The dogs are off the hook for messing up the carpets with their big gigantic muddy feet after I spent all day cleaning the carpets. Now they have to have a foot bath before they can come in the house.
I really don't even know why I am doing this stupid blog thing.... Whatever.... I guess we will see what happens --- I will probably get bored and forget about it in a month.

whatever

I figure I am doing myspace and facebook.... and nothing else with my life.... what the hell. I might as well be doing this too.
Today I had to clean the carpets cuz the dogs really thought that all the mud outside really belonged inside on the carpet.
I just want steve to come home so I can hug and love him. I miss him when he is not here. At least I am not having a "crazy day". Those are always fun. You know the ones where you either cry your eyes out or try to physically harm yourself or others.... well you probably don't know.... but consider yourselves lucky.
So here it is.... the crazy bitch blog..... good luck with it