well quite a few months since I did this... I guess i didn't see the point... still don't. No one cares or pays attention anyway.
I am lonely... sad... I wish I had REAL people in my life... but my trust issues are soooo big that I can't do that. I feel like there is no one around... I have 'virtual friends' but there is no one here. I don't know what to do. I guess it doesn't matter.
I can't even deal with my psychiatrist... he doesn't care. All he had is a prescription pad... I can get that from any doctor.
I have my family but they are grown and have their own things.... I just don't know what my purpose is anymore...if I ever had one.
I give .... there is nothing for me. I just don't know what else to do anymore... not that anyone cares. I guess I should just keep doing what I do best... cry.
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I love you so much. Do you know how many times I've wondered how I'd do things or get through certain times without my mom, with out YOU??? A lot more than you know. I think you've been given an incredible purpose in life, to be a loving wife and companion to dad, and to be a supportive and ALWAYS there for us mother. I know what it's like to be a mother and I feel empty at times because I see that he doesn't need me like he used to. But he will always need me, like I'm always going to need you. I'd love to be there for you more, and I'd love to have you as not only my mom but my friend. I'd love to go shopping and out to eat with you. I'd love to watch movies with you! No matter how busy my life can seem, there is always time to spend with you. I love you.
ReplyDeleteI love you to Ash
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