whew

Well... what a week or more it has been. I have been struggling between extreme depression and letting my PTSD & Borderline run my emotions to the point of being sooo paranoid that I don't know what to do but cry.
I have felt pretty guilty for no reason... It would be good to figure out a way or learn that not everything is worth my killing myself over guilt. Not everything is my fault... I HAVE to learn that. Thanks mom and dad.. traci, linda, chris etc... oh the list goes on and on... why do I turn everything into my fault???? Why can't I see that others have responsibility? I will get stronger and even though I will never be 'ok' I want to try to make my everyday life a little easier.. that is not too much to ask.