So.... day three with no alcohol.... I just want to see if I can do it. I want to see if I lose any weight... that will be a big factor on how this goes.
I read a PTSD article that said it almost always causes some type of addiction. I don't want to be an addict. I would like to be able to have a drink without HAVING to have a drink.
I have to fight for myself... no one else is going to. I want to be "ok" and doing some drastic things to do that. Selling the house, moving away from this place, trying to quit drinking... maybe smoking will be next.
There are no guarantee's .... but at least I am trying.
I have most of the house packed.... the stuff that is not essential for day to day living. Still have more to go.... but I still have 5 weeks.... Steve pointed that out. I just don't want to panic at the last minute ( and we all know that I will)
Today is therapy.... good times. UG! I am going thursday for my liver test.... I am sure there is nothing there... but whatever.
I do know that I am lonely and sad.... but what else is new. One of these days maybe I will be able to pull my head out of my ass and get on with actually living. It makes it hard when there are very few people that you trust.... I just think that people expect me to be what I cannot be. If that drives them away then oh well....
Steve offered to buy me a puppy to keep me busy. But boy would that send Hendrix over the edge... I think he is getting used to being an only 'child'
So that my thoughts for today- random, pathetic, whatever.... it is what it is.