long time

It has been awhile since I blogged... mostly because I couldn't remember my passwords... I can feel my mind slipping away more and more. Confusion and being disoriented are the rule not the exception.
Someone told me very recently that I can't keep pushing people away..... But if I don't push them first I am the one who ends up hurt. I have had enough of that and don't want any part of other people dictating how & what I am.
I am going to lose all the weight I have gained by being down and out. I am ready for some serious changes... get out of this town, protect myself first, and try to figure out who I have become. I am hoping some changes will help me figure out how to live with what I am instead of fighting and struggling to be what I can no longer be.