gonna complain

So another day... i just feel like venting... I think I should be able to do that -- this is my blog and I don't judge others for what they write... but I know the rules that apply to others never apply to me... I am expected to hold a different set of standards. Could anyone tell me why that is? This is supposed to be part of my theraputic process- but I feel that sometimes I have to censor what I want to say. Is that fair? Hmmm thinking not.
Yesterday went from bad to worse- I finally threw my hands in the air and gave up on everything. Why bother? It was just like the past... try to help and get slapped in the face. Then people wonder why I am so bitter!!
I have spent alot of time trying to help others with PTSD and ended up getting read the riot act by someone who was having a hard time... she posted it for everyone to see that she was struggling and when I asked if it was stress, anxiety or if there was anything I could do she emailed me told me most people didnt know that she had PTSD and was deleting my comments. All I was trying to do was care... and that is where I always go wrong. Never EVER try to care.... all it has ever done for me is destroy me. So I figured that if I was doing the wrong thing I would just make it easy on her and deleted her. That way I can't make the same mistake again.
Then Janice came over and brought ash a wonderful baby gift -- but of course there was the inevitable talk about MEPS and the bitches..... that did not help my already unstable mood.
I went to the credit union earlier in the day just for a few seconds and FOUR people commented on my house being for sale. I HATE this 'community. And of course every single one of them asked if I was still having problems with Linda. I told them YES and others...
I thought I had found something I could do and was not too shabby at... helping others in my condition. But I have failed at that too. So I guess we can add major disappointment and failure to my list of 'issues'